Dating vs Courting: To Marriage

Dating vs Courting: To Marriage

Dating and Courting are 2 MAJOR different things. One was created by man, the other was created by God. Contrary to now popular beliefs, God does not prohibit dating (in the sense of leaving it up to you to figure out who you think is best for you). In fact dating is never mentioned or seen in the bible at all. Courting on the other hand is Gods way of totally bringing two people together to the conclusion of marriage. Dating was created by man to give many options. Why? Because naturally mankind's sinful nature is afraid of commitment. We're selfish by nature so its our selfish way of testing out what WE think is best for US. Nibbling on who we think we like, and when we get fed up, throwing them away, and as a result leaving a trail of broken hearts behind that we end up not even caring about because our focus is on the next one we want to nibble on. If I must be blunt, its the most classiest way of prostituting ourselves. *gasps* PROSTITUTING??? YES chile, prostituting. Think about it. You spot out the one you want, you dress a certain way that will reel them in, you both say what you think each other wants to hear, you absolutely don't plan on marrying  this person cause you just want to have "fun". You test each other out for however long, and once you're bored, its on to the next one! Dating is actually more dangerous to our emotions than we know compared to how the world portrays it. Anyone who's ever played the dating game can tell you a broken heart is absolutely part of the package. Like I said in my previous post "Since When Did Kissing Become A Sin?", All of our wrong decisions were always controlled by how we felt and our willingness to act upon how we felt. And a broken heart only testifies to the out of control and irrational actions most of us are or have been responsible for. A fathers number 1 priority is to always PROTECT! That explains why dating is not something God created or even suggests, for the simply fact it enables hurt vs the love it promises. 

I believe there is a such thing as a "soul mate". Someone God predestined for you to be with even before you were born. However, with the option of dating this culture has given many, it not only taught people how NOT to rely on God, but also how to pick from their own limited judgement the "good guy" or "good girl" they so desire. But because God is sovereign and full of mercy, instead of saying "you picked the wrong person to marry so I'm going to let you suffer", He throws grace on it to make it work. Ask anyone who has met their soul mate (the one God chose for them) their spirit and heart knew without doubt, that she/he was the one. Many times because we do our own picking instead of waiting on the PERFECT one God has for us, temptation seems to knock on the door more often. Why? because our soul is subconsciously still in search of THE ONE. Now I'm not saying that the couples who waited on God don't experience temptation (because temptation is inevitable), I'm saying the ones who did not wait will almost constantly have these 2 questions echoing in the back of their conscious "Am I with the right one? Did I meet and marry my soul mate?".  

Dating

Dating by definition of its title alone (no dictionary) means dated. It describes a stage in a person's life when he or she is actively pursuing romantic relationships with different people. The fact that you're pursuing romantic relationships with other people means there must be an expiration date to the previous person you was dating. Like I said earlier, anyone who's played the dating game knows that a broken heart or hurt feelings is part of the package. Dating is the perfect way to play Russian Roulette with your heart. I mean think about it, does seeing how fast you can dodge a bullet to the head seem like thee most wisest thing to do? Well, does placing your heart in the hands of different people in hopes of YOU finding the one, seem like the wisest thing to do? Unless you love feeling rejected, hurt and abused, I think NOT!!! Understand the dating that I'm addressing here is not the kind that married folks or two exclusive people on the verge of marriage go on (those dates are NECESSARY), I'm talking about the hopscotch dating that most people are all to familiar with. Dating outside of courtship and marriage as my girl Heather Lindsey would say, (Check out her blog here) = RANDOMS! A Random is defined as a person you KNOW you'll never marry but you date them to fill a void because you're lonely or bored. Its an unhealthy relationship for the simple fact ITS NOT GOING ANYWHERE! Dating teaches how to be unloyal, unfaithul, and uncommitted. Society associates loyalty and faithfulness as a simple "I'll never cheat on you", but loyalty and faithfulness goes deeper than that. Being loyal and faithful means "I'm not going to throw you away because I'm bored. I'm not going to turn my back on you because you're not making me happy right now. I'm going to stick this out because I made a commitment to you. I sacrificed my happiness for you because you are worth it". Commitment and sacrifice is something dating CAN NOT teach you, because it teaches how to practice divorce. It teaches when the going gets rough or when I'm bored and have met someone else more fun and interesting, I'll take a break or leave. There are no deep roots in dating. It's just a pocket full of randoms. And to top it off, there is no such thing as a "break" in a marriage. This is where courting comes into play ;)

 Courting  

 Unlike dating, playing the guessing game and courting can not be parallel. That's because God doesn't play games. The bible says "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor with the Lord" - Proverbs 18:22 . The way God does things will ALWAYS be different from the worlds way of doing things. Gods ways are higher than mans ways. Courting as I said earlier is Gods way of bringing two people together to the conclusion of marriage. By the time the man approaches the woman with the intentions of being exclusive, he must already know she is his wife. Already you see the difference between dating and courting. Dating: you're selfishly trying to find the one on your own, hurting yourself and others in the process. Courting: You already know he/she IS the one so there's no need in playing games. Courting enforces the practice of commitment, sacrifice, loyalty and faithfulness which will eventually bleed into the marriage. Dating tells you if you cant take it, break it, off. Remember now, courting was created by God, so the foundation will always stand on His word. So what do you do when you know you have Gods best? You. . .  .  .

• Commit:
  "This is what the LORD commands:  When a man makes a vow to the LORD or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said." -Numbers 30:1-2. Commitment is a promise. Courting is a commitment that this is the person you want to take it to the next level with; marriage. There is no game playing in courting. Its either you're 100% or not. The word of God in Matthew5:37 tells us to either let our yes be yes, or our no be no. So its either you want to commit pursing marriage with the person or you don't. The only reason people are afraid to commit, is because they're afraid of dying to themselves. In other words, they're selfish!  

• Sacrifice:
  "There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends." - John 15:13. With commitment comes sacrifice. That's something the world doesn't know because we're to busy looking for someone that'll make US happy, rather than laying down our own happiness for the sake of another. There is no selfishness in courting because you must learn to SACRIFICE. What you put into practice before you marry, is what your marriage will end up being a reflection of. You don't automatically have the most blissful marriage after you say I do. The most blissful marriage starts BEFORE you say your vows, and that's out of the seeds you've been sowing during the proscess of getting to know each other.
• Loyalty and Faithfulness:
  "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" - Proverbs 17:17. Loyalty and faithfulness is unwavering in both the good and bad times. Loyalty is a strong support and allegiance to someone else rather than yourself. God is faithful to us even when we aren't faithful to Him. And because courting is His design, it only make sense to do unto another what Hes done for us. Dating the worlds way is always disclaiming "whats in it for me?". With commitment comes sacrifice. And sacrifice is done out of loyalty and faithfulness to the person irregardless of whats in it for you or not.
  
  
  
  There's so much more that can be elaborated on on this topic, but the number 1 question I often hear in Christian conversation/debates is "Is it okay for Christians to date other Christians?". My stance on this is, NO! Just because someone is Christian does not mean that they're the one God had in mind for you. GOD KNOWS BEST. And like I said before, dating is selfishly testing out who you think is best for you. It enables hurt rather than the love it promises. We are commissioned to love each other with a brotherly/sisterly love in the faith, not date each other. We must come to the conclusion that the Kingdom of God operates differently from the world. When we came to Christ it was because we made a commitment to forsake the ways of this world. While the world does not want to or even know to trust in God, we know that our stability lies on the trust we have IN Him. Not only to protect us, but knowing our future enough to know whats ultimately BEST for us. And in this context, WHO is best for us. To take matters into our own hands is to tell God "give me back my life because I can do a better job than you". Our own hearts can deceive us because feelings fluctuate. As a result of dating or failed relationships, many in the body of Christ are wounded and suffering from broken hearts. The devil as we know targets those who are wounded because its easier to take them out. How effective can we be if we take on as the world going around hurting each other? A fathers number 1 priority is to protect. Compared to dating that is exactly what courting enables, protection and security of ones heart and emotions in the hands of someone God sees fit and trustworthy enough. I don't know about the rest of you all, but I definitely trust God enough to know the heart, intent, and motives of the person He has predestined for me to be with. Why play games or even settle for someone who is unsure if you're worth them committing to, when you can seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and wait for Him to bring to you (when the time is ready), your soul mate?