Saved Hater Friends? OH MY!

Saved Hater Friends? OH MY! 

So I felt the need to address this hate thing that goes on within the Christian community that NO ONE wants to talk about. And the ones who do talk about it are normally the ones that are still bitter, so it often times come out wrong. Id like to 1st state that I to have been (long long ago), a hater *bows head in past shame*. BUT, to my glory I no longer am one (thanks to God) *harlem shakes*. What is a Saved Hater Friend? For many of us, to even say we have "haters" just sounds so uncomfortable, worldly, and just down right G-H-E-TT-O "I got hata's ya'll". BUT, if we be truthfully honest here, haters DO EXIST. In the world and sadly to say, in the body of Christ (the Church). The haters I want to address here are not the ones in the world, but the ones IN the church. I'm talking about the "super saved, tongue talking, always slain in the spirit if you just blow on them", haters. We all know that there are only 2 types of haters in this life: the one that just publicly no shame shows they don't like you or anything you do, and the one that's your friend (or acts like it) that is secretly intimidated by your success. So what exactly is a Saved Hater Friend? How do you identify if you might have one (or in some cases, MANY) in your own circle? How do you confront a Saved Hater Friend without looking like you're causing strife or discord? (Cause a hater friend will ALWAYS act like they're oblivious to their own hate, thus making you seem like you're crazy or causing unnecessary drama lol). So lets get started shall we. . . . . . . . . 

What is a Saved Hater Friend? 

 

Its obviously someone who is saved and someone who you consider a friend. What makes a Saved Hater Friend different from a regular hater friend is the fact that they have a relationship with Jesus, meaning they should know better because He commissioned us to love one another and not hate, right? RIGHT! A Saved Hater Friend is someone who consciously or subconsciously is jealous of your overall progression (whether that be spiritually, financially, or naturally). They are VERY well aware of everything you are working on or working towards, HOWEVER, they will never compliment you on any of it.When they do decide to compliment you its 9 X's out of 10 because you mentioned it, so without wanting to expose how they REALLY feel, they have no choice but to say "Oh yea, I seen that. Good job" (sounding all dry). A hater cant control their "hate" (jealousy). And especially if they have to be a friend to you, it eats up at them. 

How do you identify a Saved Hater Friend?

  

There's 3 main things a hater friend will ALWAYS do. . . . 

1. They will hardly (close to never) congratulate, acknowledge, or affirm. 
2. If in a group setting and someone else compliments you, they (in a "joking" way) will point out your flaw(s) to undermine the compliment you just received. 
3. They're the least likely to encourage you to step out on faith with your crazy ideas and dreams because they have talked themselves out of stepping out on crazy faith, so they're trying to stop you as well. 

That pretty much sums it up. It really isnt hard to identify one. But one thing I would like to point out; a Saved Hater Friend is not a "frenemie". This is a person that actually likes/loves you. BUT, its in the area that you are either stronger or more talented/gifted in then they are that creates the friction for them. Why? because of insecurity (which none of us can say we didn't have).  Jealousy plays a MAJOR role in being a hater. The bible says "Jealousy is like cancer in the bones" - Proverbs 14:30. And just like cancer, a hater can not control it (if you've ever been a hater, then you KNOW what I'm talmbout lol). Hating is 100% likely to happen in someone who lacks identity of who God specifically created THEM to be, and what He specifically created THEM to accomplish. So in all actuality, they want what you have: Identity and Purpose.

 How do you confront a Saved Hater Friend? 

By now you probably was reading and could name a few hater friends like "yeaaaa, I KNEW so an so was a hata". But the most important part you probably forgot to do was identify if YOU TOO are a hater, (that's that log in the eye Jesus was talking about lol). I'm a firm believer that you can not confront an issue if you have not first checked and confronted it within yourself. If you're anything like how I used to be, calling people out in the middle of an confrontation was BLISS for me. I loved every second of saying in the midst of an argument "I knew it! I knew you was jealous! You just JEALOUS!". It wasn't until I got a revelation on how the Kingdom of God REALLY operates that I was able to change how I confront "haters". So how do we confront them?. . . . . . .You don't! As crazy as that may sound (and to your flesh it doesn't want to make sense), that's how the Kingdom of God operates. Our weapons are not carnal. We don't quarrel as believers arguing with one another, especially on a topic like this. Now I'm not saying that you should NEVER confront people (because confrontation is necessary at the appropriate timing for clarity). I'm saying instead, you PRAY for them first. Prayer sounds so cliche, especially when you find out a close friend is hating on you, cause your flesh wants to confront them (really to bring "conviction") like "I thought you was my friend? You're suppose to be happy for me! I thought you was saved?". That is why we ought to pray for them. Prayer is POWERFUL. When you genuinely pray for that person or those people, it protects and guards your heart from ill emotions that can form towards those individuals that the bible warns us about. It also causes the Holy Spirit to move on your behalf on the heart of the individual(s) to bring conviction. My personal testimony: when I was newly saved (a babe in Christ), because of my hunger and thirst for more of God, I began to grow at an expedient rate spiritually. There was a few individuals that grew a little indignant towards me like "who do she think she is? She just got saved. She thinks she knows it all! I been saved longer than her and she think she can teach me?!". When I would pick up on that, instead of confronting them the way I normally would've done when I wasn't saved, I just prayed for them because I didn't want hate to grow in my heart. Sure enough, God moved on my behalf. Some of those individuals hearts grew soft and they began to confess how they really felt. Now we're some of the closet friends. You see how God moves? Moral of it all: pray for your haters. Like I said earlier, hating generates from insecurity or a lack of knowing purpose. And instead of us being satisfied with labeling everyone as a hater, how about we take a different approach, praying that they will ultimately find their true identify in Christ, so they might be made whole. And look DEEEEP within yourself as well. Could it be that you love the praise and exaltation of man, and when you dont get it from the ones you want it from the most, you label them a hater? Hmmmm, you think about that! 

Until we meet again, CHEEKY CHOOWWW ;)